Well, I saw Monster Hunter a few days ago. Really, I am. Directed by Paul W.S. Anderson, Milla Jovovich, the protagonist of the film, is eagerly awaited by fans. Well, you know… The one that’s an adaptation of the Capcom video game franchise. And the movie’s so bad, I don’t even think it deserves a review. I’m gonna turn the whole station upside down, so I thought ……… Why did this happen to you and, frankly, to me? We’re tired of awful things, awful movies in this awful year. So let’s try a different approach.
Let’s try to address something else in this post that struck me while watching the movie. A few words about writing scrolls, and the difficulties this can sometimes cause. Good, memorable roles every actor wants. What Anderson can’t write. There is a saying in Hollywood (from Stanislavski, to be precise). There are no small parts. Just little actors. Well, that can’t be further from the truth. There are no small parts. Just stupid and badly written. And there are so many parts like that in Monster Hunter, but one in particular really pissed me off. I realized how stupid and badly written it is.
I’m talking about the stalker in Monster Hunter. Yes, a soldier from Milla Jovovich’s team. Oh, my God. I need to talk to Anderson about something. You see, the actor in this role is a damn good Australian actor, Josh Helman. He has appeared in major TV series (Blood and Bone) and major films (Days of Future People X-Men, Mad Max Fluffy Road…). Look at him. He’s really great. But here at Monster Hunter, he not only has 3 minutes of screen time and 5-6 lines…. It’s not memorable at all, and I have a problem with that. There are many small details with even less screen time and even fewer lines, but they are incredible. This only points to the poor quality of the envisaged scenario.
Now let’s compare the same actor with another, but very similar role. Cut to Mad Max: Fury Road. War Boy on Fury Road (plays a soldier in Monster Hunter). Both films are set in the desert, and both characters are very loyal and loyal. Oh, and SPOILER: They both die in these two movies.
But I’m wandering off. What I want to say, however, is that unlike Steeler, you remember a lot about Slit. VERY WELL! He, the lines (he looked at your blood bag!), his appearance (his scars, for example), and his presence in general (he’s a bad guy in Fury Road). Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It was a small part, but a damn good part. And do you know why? Because it was a great role, beautifully written, in a fantastic movie. You owe it to George Miller.
In Monster Hunter, steel is exactly the opposite. It’s hard to remember anyone on Milla’s team, let alone the details of these characters. And Steeler is no exception. They are universal one-dimensional characters that have fulfilled their function. It’s an addition to the otherwise glorified Milla combat vehicle. Even a popcorn movie isn’t as bad as it could be. It’s not, and I won’t be intimidated.
Conclusion: Some actors don’t deserve such terrible movies at all. Or terrible movies like Monster Hunter don’t deserve such good actors. Yeah, it’s a lose-lose scenario for both. It’s a pity that this film adaptation fell into the wrong hands. A skilled and, I dare say, talented writer/director could have performed miracles in this role.
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